Thursday, January 27, 2011

Letter to Brian Frons

Dear Friends, it has come to our attention that The Powers That Be at AMC are moving towards the Tammy Wynette Solution in regards to Binks' marriage. Yes, the ugly D.I.V.O.R.C.E. word has been uttered.   

We're beyond throwing humor at the situation, it's time to put on our frowny faces. We've written a letter to Mr. Frons that we hope each and every one of you will copy and paste into an email, or your very own word document.  We hope you will add your own comments. But if you're too lazy for that, PLEASE PLAGIARIZE US. INDEED THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE WANT YOU TO DO!!

Now, if only we could get Eden to do a creative reading of this on YouTube, complete with tears and chin quivers, our efforts might get noticed.....


Date: ____________, 2011

Brian Frons
President of ABC Daytime
ABC, Inc.
2300 Riverside Drive
Burbank , CA 91506

Dear Mr. Frons,

Please feel free to share this letter with
___ Julie Hanan Carruthers and
___ Anne Sweeney and
___ Whoever Happens to Be on the Writing Staff of All My Children This Week.

I have read the recent All My Children spoilers regarding Bianca and I am writing to
___ ask you to
___ beg you to
___ implore you to

reconsider her filing for a divorce.

I am a
___ regular
___ occasional
___ reluctant

viewer who has watched All My Children for
___ weeks.
___ months.
___ years.
___ my entire life.

Not that it should matter, but I want you to know that I myself am
___ gay.
___ not gay.
___ not sure yet of my sexuality.

I think it is
___ important
___ imperative
___ inherently the decent thing to do

that you respect Bianca and Reese's marriage and reconsider this divorce business. In the grand scheme of soap operas, I understand that one divorce is
___ inconsequential.
___ trivial.
___ practically a non-event.

But Bianca is a unique case!

Gay marriage is a very important issue in our country. I am sympathetic to the fact that you would like to avoid
___ controversy.
___ hate mail.
___ negative publicity.
___ the wrath of fans.

If this issue wasn't so important to me I wouldn't bother writing to you. But I feel
___ extremely
___ strongly
___ passionately

compelled to share my thoughts with you about Bianca and Reese.

Quite honestly, I
___ love Reese.
___ hate Reese.
___ adore Reese.
___ couldn't care less about Reese.

But that's not the point. The point is Bianca is one of the few, positive representations of a gay person on daytime television. With so much of America divided and conflicted over the rights of gay people to marry I believe All My Children has a responsibility to respectfully honor Bianca and Reese's marriage.

I fully understand that you have probably already been contacted by well funded, loud, angry activists who would like to eliminate all portrayals of gay people in the media. Especially positive portrayals. And historically there has hardly been a more positive portrayal of a gay person anywhere on television than that of Erica Kane's daughter, Bianca.

Agnes Nixon knew when she decided that the character of Bianca would come out as gay that she was inviting controversy. She understood that there would be viewers who did not want a gay person to disrupt their enjoyment of their show. She knew that by making Erica Kane's daughter gay she insured that the issue would be a front burner story. And most importantly, Agnes knew that by making Bianca a sympathetic, intelligent, good hearted person she would challenge her viewer's prejudices about homosexuality.

Everyone knows that it is next to impossible to change a person's mind about a deeply held belief by appealing to them with logic, statistics, facts and figures. Ironically this approach almost always backfires. People become more entrenched in their beliefs after being presented with evidence that refutes the validity of their prejudices.

But if you can touch their heart, you can change their mind. Bianca's story touched the hearts of millions of All My Children fans and changed many, many minds. I sincerely ask you to continue to tell Bianca's story with the same compassion and respect that was used when she came out as a teenager, and to honor her marriage with Reese.

I understand that weddings are a dime a dozen on daytime and that writers believe that happy couples are boring couples. But Bianca's wedding to Reese was unlike any other wedding on daytime and their right to marry is still an unresolved controversy in America. Please don't diminish the importance of this event by unceremoniously having Bianca divorce Reese. It is disrespectful and irresponsible.

And finally I ask that you remember that by honoring Bianca's marriage you have the opportunity and the power to change even more hearts.

Thank you,

A thoughtful viewer with a fully functional remote control.


Friday, January 14, 2011

We're Just Trying to Be Helpful

You may have heard the rumors that Brian Frons is working on a replacement for the current head writers of All My Children.  We offered twice before (here and here) to take over the reigns but nobody seems interested.... Does that deter us from trying to be helpful? No it doesn't. Cause we're big hearted that way.

Of course, if we were in charge of AMC it would become The Big Gay Bianca Show and Reese would be back in Pine Valley faster than you can say "Lesbians?! What lesbians?!"   But we also realize that there are other characters on the show and we wouldn't just forget about them.  No, we have plans for almost everybody.

Since Fronsie isn't interested in our ideas, we thought we would share them with you, our faithful readers.  In no particular order, here are some storylines we conjured up almost completely without effort. No seriously, it was about as strenuous as making toast. And still, there are some ideas in here that are far better than anything we're seeing on AMC right now. Are we wrong?

  • Greenlee dumps Ryan, joins the Ice Capades, makes millions developing new cosmetics line for Johnny Weir. 
  • David is convicted of being as a**hole & is ordered to perform piano concerts at OakHaven & state penitentiary for the rest of his life. 
  • Kendall teams up w/Rev Ricky to create the biggest Mega Church in the Northeast supporting liberal causes & social justice issues. They also organize a massive boycott of Chick-fil-A.
  • Jesse arrests Liza for impersonating a human being. 
  • Griffin forsakes medicine to open a Latin Dance School. Tad is his first student. 
  • Amanda enrolls in Med School to impress Jake & accidentally discovers a cure for Angie's blindness. 
  • Randi is in a tragic car accident that destroys her vocal chords. She recovers by learning how to express herself thru interpretive dance.
  • Colby & Asher go hiking in Tuscarora State Forest & get lost. Once a month we check in on them. Asher is chopping wood w/his shirt off. 
  • Erica Kane, Victoria Lord & Wendy Williams team up for a new daytime talk show. 
  • Krystal takes over an aging, rundown animal shelter & tries to get every resident of Pine Valley to adopt a pet. 
  • JR, in his never ending quest to prove he is a good father, becomes AJ's Cub Scout Leader. Bear Cub, Wolf Cub & Webelos included!
  • Opal & Annie take over Wildwind & turn it into Grey Gardens.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy Birthday Eden!


From your two craziest admirers, a sincere wish for a very happy birthday and a new year full of joy!

Much love, Ellen & Portia

PS: Everybody should go check out the awesome video "Absolute Eden" made for the occasion.