Friday, January 14, 2011

We're Just Trying to Be Helpful

You may have heard the rumors that Brian Frons is working on a replacement for the current head writers of All My Children.  We offered twice before (here and here) to take over the reigns but nobody seems interested.... Does that deter us from trying to be helpful? No it doesn't. Cause we're big hearted that way.

Of course, if we were in charge of AMC it would become The Big Gay Bianca Show and Reese would be back in Pine Valley faster than you can say "Lesbians?! What lesbians?!"   But we also realize that there are other characters on the show and we wouldn't just forget about them.  No, we have plans for almost everybody.

Since Fronsie isn't interested in our ideas, we thought we would share them with you, our faithful readers.  In no particular order, here are some storylines we conjured up almost completely without effort. No seriously, it was about as strenuous as making toast. And still, there are some ideas in here that are far better than anything we're seeing on AMC right now. Are we wrong?

  • Greenlee dumps Ryan, joins the Ice Capades, makes millions developing new cosmetics line for Johnny Weir. 
  • David is convicted of being as a**hole & is ordered to perform piano concerts at OakHaven & state penitentiary for the rest of his life. 
  • Kendall teams up w/Rev Ricky to create the biggest Mega Church in the Northeast supporting liberal causes & social justice issues. They also organize a massive boycott of Chick-fil-A.
  • Jesse arrests Liza for impersonating a human being. 
  • Griffin forsakes medicine to open a Latin Dance School. Tad is his first student. 
  • Amanda enrolls in Med School to impress Jake & accidentally discovers a cure for Angie's blindness. 
  • Randi is in a tragic car accident that destroys her vocal chords. She recovers by learning how to express herself thru interpretive dance.
  • Colby & Asher go hiking in Tuscarora State Forest & get lost. Once a month we check in on them. Asher is chopping wood w/his shirt off. 
  • Erica Kane, Victoria Lord & Wendy Williams team up for a new daytime talk show. 
  • Krystal takes over an aging, rundown animal shelter & tries to get every resident of Pine Valley to adopt a pet. 
  • JR, in his never ending quest to prove he is a good father, becomes AJ's Cub Scout Leader. Bear Cub, Wolf Cub & Webelos included!
  • Opal & Annie take over Wildwind & turn it into Grey Gardens.

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