As so often happens with us -- we were totally concentrated on one thing -- our "
It Was My Fault" Fiasco Derby, when we were completely distracted by a random thought.
Being the creative types that we are, we had to follow the random thought, because random almost always leads to adventure, and we are nothing if not adventurous. Or foolhardy, or suffering from ADD. It all depends on your point of view.
We were discussing our excitement surrounding Reese's imminent arrival in Pine Valley. Which of course led to an expository treatise regarding Miranda's Halloween Costume in the 10/30 episode. We were perplexed -- why is Miranda not all decked out as a Disney Princess? She is the perfect age for Princess-Wear and AMC is on ABC and ABC is wholly owned and operated by the Mouse, so why no tiara for our favorite tyke? So not fair.
The conversation went something like this:
PORTIA: I'm guessing Miranda has multiple Halloween Costumes. One for school. One for the obligatory kids Halloween Party and one for actual Trick-or-Treating purposes.
ELLEN: And one for wearing on an airplane across the Atlantic Ocean.
PORTIA: I suppose it was necessary to have a costume for Miranda in which she had a mask that obscured her face, otherwise how do you justify Bianca not recognizing her own daughter?
ELLEN: Too bad. Seeing Miranda dressed up as a Disney Princess would have been adorable.
PORTIA: Which princess do you think Mimo would have chosen?
ELLEN: I think we can eliminate the obvious contenders: Cinderella & Snow White. Those would have been logical choices when she was younger, but Miranda is too savvy and independent to continue to emulate such weak role models. Adorable as they may be.
PORTIA: Interesting. I think she might go for Jasmine. Jasmine is smart, sassy and the costume is a little bit sexy and, bonus! looks like it would still be comfortable even after consuming your own weight in chocolate.
ELLEN: Pocahontas is out because, even though she was a bona fide Princess, albeit Native American style, part of the Princess appeal is unfettered wealth, conspicuous consumption and pretty shoes.
PORTIA: Good point.
ELLEN: Sleeping Beauty has good hair and the dress is nice, but she's asleep for the better part of the movie --
PORTIA: -- and the whole "Kendall in a Coma" - Sleeping Beauty metaphor is going to quickly become overplayed, so that's not an option.
ELLEN: Now, Mulan is a possible choice. I can totally see Bianca & Reese being ultra PC and supporting Mimo in "color blind casting."
PORTIA: Wow, you've given this a lot of thought, haven't you?
ELLEN: Please! Is there anything I love more then Disney? No. I still watch Beauty and the Beast regularly. (Don't judge!)
PORTIA: Well, as long as we're revealing deep dark secrets, I suppose now is as good a time as any to admit to owning every piece of Little Mermaid paraphernalia in existence.
ELLEN: Ariel comes in a close second. But Belle and I are the same person (minus the animation, anorexia, French village, brawny but dangerous stalker, dancing candelabra and beastly love interest). As a kid my brain told me: we both are brunette (despite what my current animated self looks like), we both have a massive book obsession, and we both have quirky but lovable fathers. See? Obviously the similarities do not end. But the best thing about Belle is she has an Angela Lansbury tea pot. I'm jealous.
PORTIA: That's funny, because I adore Ariel precisely because we are complete opposites. For one thing, she has good hair. I sometimes weep when I dream of the life I could have had if I'd just been born with good hair. And a chest that could fill that seashell bra.
ELLEN: Ariel's got a lot going for her.
PORTIA: The only draw back I can see is that her hunky boyfriend has a slobbery dog.
ELLEN: Obviously Belle & Ariel are the best Disney Princesses because they had the best composer/lyricists - Alan Menken and Howard Ashman. They were golden.
PORTIA: Absolutely. They were gods. RIP Howard Ashman. The world is less shiny without you in it.....
ELLEN: I wonder who Eden Riegel's favorite Disney Princess is?
Extended pause as we each take several sips of red wine.
PORTIA: Eden Riegel IS a Disney Princess! A living, breathing, singing, dancing, sugar coated, dipped in sunshine and rainbows, authentic, 100% genuine Disney Princess.
ELLEN: OMG! You are right. You are undeniably right. How else could Eden make Saint Bianca so believable and lovable and charming, and do it in such a way that you don't want to see her bludgeoned to death with a fairy wand? Eden possesses infinite quantities of Disney Princess Magic that renders her untouchable.
PORTIA: Tamara Braun touches her. Thank god.
ELLEN: No, I mean -- untouchable, as in "cannot be harmed."
PORTIA: But what about Pratt? He threw her under a bus!!
ELLEN: Yes! But what happened? Two animated characters suddenly appeared out of nowhere and saved her starry ass.
PORTIA: Good point.
ELLEN: Ha! She pretends to be just an ordinary, every day, emmy award winning actress.
PORTIA: We should have known. How did we not know?
ELLEN: She must use her magical powers to disguise her deep inner princessabilities.
PORTIA: So that the common people are not overwhelmed by her awesomeness.
ELLEN: No one suspects the butterfly.
PORTIA: But because we're animated, her true self was revealed to us.
ELLEN: Still, I'd love to know who her favorite princess is.
PORTIA: Let's ask her.
ELLEN: Say what?
PORTIA: Sure, why not? Let's tweet her and ask her who her favorite Disney Princess is. Who knows, she might respond. She owes us one.
ELLEN: Well, we can't just ask her THAT. If we're going to try to contact her, we might as well ask her all the things we really want to know.
PORTIA: And Tamara, too! We have to have questions for Tamara!
ELLEN: OK. Let's get on it.
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So, that's how the conversation went. We'll share our interview questions next. Then we'll wait to see what kind of response we get!
We're so excited. Are you?
