1. Bianca & Kendall accidentally murder Ryan, flee to Austria with All Their Children, make play clothes out of curtains, Climb Every Mountain over to Switzerland, and become multi-bazillionaires as the creators of Fine Dark Fusion Chocolates.
2. Bianca & Kendall accidentally murder Ryan, escape to Berlin where they forsake their lives as caring mothers for the skeezy nightlife at the seedy Kit Kat Klub, until Bianca is rescued by Reese and Kendall is swept off her feet by Herr Schultz, a Jewish fruit vendor wearing a Red Wings Jersey.
3. Bianca & Kendall accidentally murder Ryan, escape to Greenwich Village in NYC where they move into a basement apartment on Christopher Street and begin a new life as sisters Ruth and Eileen Sherwood of Columbus, Ohio. Bianca/Eileen meets Frank/Reese the manager of the local Walgreen's and falls "A Little Bit In Love."
4. Bianca and Kendall accidentally murder Ryan, but before the can get away, Erica finds them and forces the two sisters into a life of show business. Erica wants Kendall to be a star, but after a few years of failed vaudeville gigs, Kendall hits the road with a chorus boy. Although she is devastated, Erica realizes that Bianca has what it takes to make it in the biz. Sadly, by the time Erica comes to this conclusion, vaudeville is dead and she's got to get a gimmick if they want to get ahead. This gimmick? Stripping. In a mind-blowing, ten minute display of Tony worthy effort, Bianca transforms from Kendall's shy, gay kid sister into the world's greatest stripper: Gypsy Binks Lee. Bianca loses her innocense, but gains fame and fortune while Erica can only watch from the shadows, reaching towards the distant spotlight.
5. Bianca and Kendall accidentally murder Ryan and are arrested by Jesse. They spend 19 years in prison, only to be released and skip parole, making them lifelong criminals. Finally, they obtain secret identities and become mayors of Paris, all the while Jesse Hubbard searches. When a French prostitute dies and wills her only daughter to the Sister's Kane, Binks and Kendall adopt the young pauper (who looks freakishly like an eight year old Eden Riegel and likes to sing about castles and clouds). Eventually, Jesse discovers that they really are the criminal Kanes, but a student revolution has began and no one has time to make arrests. Bianca and Kendall climb a barricade, wave a red flag, get shot, sing about getting shot, get shot again, and then die in a spectacular finale surrounded by all the characters Pratt has killed within the last 12 months.
Souvenir Programs & Commemorative T-Shirts for sale in the lobby.
Showing posts with label Recycled Plots. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Recycled Plots. Show all posts
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Bianca's Borrowed TV & Movie Plots We'd Like to See on AMC:
1. Bianca & Kendall accidentally murder Zach, are recruited by by a secret academy for their Discipline, Energy, Beauty, and Strength and lead a life of covert crime fighting while wearing Catholic High School Uniforms with knee socks, as written and directed by Angela Robinson.
2. Bianca & Kendall accidentally murder Zach, and escape on jet ski's into open water where they are rescued by Reese, taken to the Cayman Islands to work for the Charles Townsend Agency, given stun guns and new identities as Jill, Sabrina & Kelly. Uncle Jack instructs them that henceforth he is to be called only "Bosley."
3. Bianca & Kendall accidentally murder Zach, escape to Europe where Bianca is reunited with Reese and Kendall falls madly in love with Michael Vartan Vaughn. They each take on many different aliases, searching for cryptic algorithms, protein engineering schematics and mascara that doesn't run when you cry, the secrets of which are all to be found in the documents of Renaissance genius, Milo Cambius Giacomo Rambaldi.
4. Bianca and Kendall accidentally murder Zach, but before they are caught, the earth is destroyed by a humanoid race of robots. Escaping to the unknown corners of space with only a handful of Pine Valley refugees, Bianca and Kendall begin wearing two tank tops at once and fight for the survival of humans everywhere. Kendall falls in love with a mental manifestation of the murdered Zach, while Bianca spends most of her time with Reese, the hot shot pilot who seemingly dies in a confusing, Jimi Hendrix-esque, ball of fire. Distraught, Bianca can only take comfort in her half human, half Cambias daughter (who is the future of the human race). A bunch of stuff happens. Things blow up. Fire! Aliens! Frakking! Mary McDonnell! Suddenly, Reese returns only to disappear a short time later because it turns out that all along Reese was a...hell if we know. Bianca and Kendall accidentally murder the mental manifestation of Zach as the Battlestar GaErica blows up. Finally, Bianca and Kendall land in LA with little Mimo, where they breed with the locals and return thousands of years later as...hell if we know. But Reese is still wearing the double tank tops, that much we know.
2. Bianca & Kendall accidentally murder Zach, and escape on jet ski's into open water where they are rescued by Reese, taken to the Cayman Islands to work for the Charles Townsend Agency, given stun guns and new identities as Jill, Sabrina & Kelly. Uncle Jack instructs them that henceforth he is to be called only "Bosley."
3. Bianca & Kendall accidentally murder Zach, escape to Europe where Bianca is reunited with Reese and Kendall falls madly in love with Michael Vartan Vaughn. They each take on many different aliases, searching for cryptic algorithms, protein engineering schematics and mascara that doesn't run when you cry, the secrets of which are all to be found in the documents of Renaissance genius, Milo Cambius Giacomo Rambaldi.
4. Bianca and Kendall accidentally murder Zach, but before they are caught, the earth is destroyed by a humanoid race of robots. Escaping to the unknown corners of space with only a handful of Pine Valley refugees, Bianca and Kendall begin wearing two tank tops at once and fight for the survival of humans everywhere. Kendall falls in love with a mental manifestation of the murdered Zach, while Bianca spends most of her time with Reese, the hot shot pilot who seemingly dies in a confusing, Jimi Hendrix-esque, ball of fire. Distraught, Bianca can only take comfort in her half human, half Cambias daughter (who is the future of the human race). A bunch of stuff happens. Things blow up. Fire! Aliens! Frakking! Mary McDonnell! Suddenly, Reese returns only to disappear a short time later because it turns out that all along Reese was a...hell if we know. Bianca and Kendall accidentally murder the mental manifestation of Zach as the Battlestar GaErica blows up. Finally, Bianca and Kendall land in LA with little Mimo, where they breed with the locals and return thousands of years later as...hell if we know. But Reese is still wearing the double tank tops, that much we know.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Recycled & Ripped Off Plots That We'd Like to See on AMC:
We were lamenting the loss of one of our favorite AMC pairings -- Bianca & Kendall, and concurrently complaining about the lack of interesting plots. We've noticed how Pratt likes to recycle old, tired, used stories and we thought we'd play along. Here are our suggestions for Recycled & Ripped Off Plots that we'd like to see on AMC:
1. Bianca & Kendall accidentally murder Ryan, escape through the Chandler Mansion Tunnels, rescue Greenlee and, travel to Paris where they meet up with Reese & the kids, become film auteurs, living a life of privilege and luxury even though they are fugitives, while Uncle Jack pins the murder on Roman Polanski.
2. Bianca and Kendall accidentally murder Ryan and take off on a cross country road trip. Having lost access to Bianca’s trust fund, they decide to rob banks and begin a nationwide crime spree. Eventually, the law finds them and in a bloody spray of bullets, the Kane sisters meet their maker. Luckily, upon arriving at the pearly gates, Bianca discovers that God is in fact a woman and her name is “Reese.”
3. Bianca and Kendall accidentally murder Ryan, escape on the good ship Lesbos, sail the seven seas, kidnap two comely wenches named Reese and Greenlee, fight Cambias pirates, freak natural disasters and the occasional sea monster.
4. Bianca and Kendall accidentally murder Ryan, flee to a deserted island where they build a tree house with the Swiss Family Robinsons and Bianca lives in barefooted bliss with "Her Girl Reese" while Kendall organizes the Robinson Family into working a production line that manufactures coconut based cosmetics.
5. Bianca and Kendall accidentally murder Ryan and take cover as double agents for the U.S. government and infiltrate the Russian military. They run around the country in leather outfits, and seduce man and woman-kind with their fake accents and Kane powers.
1. Bianca & Kendall accidentally murder Ryan, escape through the Chandler Mansion Tunnels, rescue Greenlee and, travel to Paris where they meet up with Reese & the kids, become film auteurs, living a life of privilege and luxury even though they are fugitives, while Uncle Jack pins the murder on Roman Polanski.
2. Bianca and Kendall accidentally murder Ryan and take off on a cross country road trip. Having lost access to Bianca’s trust fund, they decide to rob banks and begin a nationwide crime spree. Eventually, the law finds them and in a bloody spray of bullets, the Kane sisters meet their maker. Luckily, upon arriving at the pearly gates, Bianca discovers that God is in fact a woman and her name is “Reese.”
3. Bianca and Kendall accidentally murder Ryan, escape on the good ship Lesbos, sail the seven seas, kidnap two comely wenches named Reese and Greenlee, fight Cambias pirates, freak natural disasters and the occasional sea monster.
4. Bianca and Kendall accidentally murder Ryan, flee to a deserted island where they build a tree house with the Swiss Family Robinsons and Bianca lives in barefooted bliss with "Her Girl Reese" while Kendall organizes the Robinson Family into working a production line that manufactures coconut based cosmetics.
5. Bianca and Kendall accidentally murder Ryan and take cover as double agents for the U.S. government and infiltrate the Russian military. They run around the country in leather outfits, and seduce man and woman-kind with their fake accents and Kane powers.
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