Saturday, October 10, 2009

Bianca's Broadway Baby Storylines

1. Bianca & Kendall accidentally murder Ryan, flee to Austria with All Their Children, make play clothes out of curtains, Climb Every Mountain over to Switzerland, and become multi-bazillionaires as the creators of Fine Dark Fusion Chocolates.

2. Bianca & Kendall accidentally murder Ryan, escape to Berlin where they forsake their lives as caring mothers for the skeezy nightlife at the seedy Kit Kat Klub, until Bianca is rescued by Reese and Kendall is swept off her feet by Herr Schultz, a Jewish fruit vendor wearing a Red Wings Jersey.

3. Bianca & Kendall accidentally murder Ryan, escape to Greenwich Village in NYC where they move into a basement apartment on Christopher Street and begin a new life as sisters Ruth and Eileen Sherwood of Columbus, Ohio. Bianca/Eileen meets Frank/Reese the manager of the local Walgreen's and falls "A Little Bit In Love."

4. Bianca and Kendall accidentally murder Ryan, but before the can get away, Erica finds them and forces the two sisters into a life of show business. Erica wants Kendall to be a star, but after a few years of failed vaudeville gigs, Kendall hits the road with a chorus boy. Although she is devastated, Erica realizes that Bianca has what it takes to make it in the biz. Sadly, by the time Erica comes to this conclusion, vaudeville is dead and she's got to get a gimmick if they want to get ahead. This gimmick? Stripping. In a mind-blowing, ten minute display of Tony worthy effort, Bianca transforms from Kendall's shy, gay kid sister into the world's greatest stripper: Gypsy Binks Lee. Bianca loses her innocense, but gains fame and fortune while Erica can only watch from the shadows, reaching towards the distant spotlight.

5. Bianca and Kendall accidentally murder Ryan and are arrested by Jesse. They spend 19 years in prison, only to be released and skip parole, making them lifelong criminals. Finally, they obtain secret identities and become mayors of Paris, all the while Jesse Hubbard searches. When a French prostitute dies and wills her only daughter to the Sister's Kane, Binks and Kendall adopt the young pauper (who looks freakishly like an eight year old Eden Riegel and likes to sing about castles and clouds). Eventually, Jesse discovers that they really are the criminal Kanes, but a student revolution has began and no one has time to make arrests. Bianca and Kendall climb a barricade, wave a red flag, get shot, sing about getting shot, get shot again, and then die in a spectacular finale surrounded by all the characters Pratt has killed within the last 12 months.

Souvenir Programs & Commemorative T-Shirts for sale in the lobby.

1 comment:

  1. Well, all your ideas start off brilliantly, but I'll cast a vote for Gypsy Binks Lee. Can't support No. 5 for fear it could lead to some sort of heavenly Ryan reunion.