Saturday, October 24, 2009

AMC: Pratt Falls * Fiasco Derby * Oct 23, 2008


Thus begins Bianca's milk drinking marathon. Pay close attention to all subsequent scenes involving adult characters having a drink. Poor Bianca is always offered milk. Apparently women who are breastfeeding can't drink anything but milk. Water is a no. Juice is a no. It's all about the dairy. No wonder Bianca goes crazy in the end. Mad Cow Disease.

This episode is a continuation of the "father/daddy/papa" freak show. Another tornado hits and in an attempt to comfort her very calm, well behaved, sound asleep newborn, Bianca coos "We're okay, your Daddy's okay, and your Aunty Kendall will be okay too." Your Other Mom, the Amazing Reese, and Big Sis Miranda -- well, apparently Bianca's not too concerned if they're okay right now or not. GrrrrArrrgghhh.

Did anyone besides Portia think Bianca looked like Edith Ann in that enormous rocking chair?

Moving on-- We get to see Bianca faint. And she faints because --gee, maybe because the absurdity of Kendall undergoing brain surgery by flashlight just registered and because, she's a Kane. They're prone to head injury and fainting spells. No need to worry. They also have Wolverine-esque healing powers.

Time to briefly reiterate once again how repetitively wonderful Reese is for Greenlee's benefit. The Reese List: she's pretty cool, she's amazing, she's a great architect, she's a great Mom to Miranda. When is Bianca going to get around to mentioning that Reese is smoking HOT?

Greenlee, the shrewdest lady in Pine Valley, quickly figures out that Baby Binks is half Cambias spawn. Her reaction is priceless. Obviously Greens has been hanging out with Ryan for too long, because she has totally mastered his signature look. Her face is a study in confusion and horror. And then Greenlee asks what fans everywhere are dying to know: "When? How?"

She is obviously thinking, "Zach and Lesbianca totally did the nasty!" Because of course this is the only way to make babies. Then Bianca forbids Greenlee from sharing this information, which is the equivalent of posting the news on twitter, Facebook and MySpace. Simultaneously.

Let's have a quick look:


  1. OMG, brilliantly funny!!! loved the music, titling, etc, use of B/W. These scenes so much better as campy old style film.

    We all coul've done without Bianca talking about Zach as "daddy", though. What happened to "DONOR"? How about writers remembering that Gabby's other parent not there? Don't they think Bianca should have been expressing wish Reese had been there, excited about G meeting her other mommy, etc. Did Zach's superfluous Lion King reenactment stun Bianca into a stupor? Or was it the Edith Ann rocking chair conveniently not only located in the hospital, but in the store room just in case a new mom/baby have to sit out a CGI tornado?