The Post Where Ellen & Portia Try to Interview Eden & Tamara

So, here are the burning questions we came up with to ask Eden & Tamara! Will we succeed in scoring an interview with the Dynamic Duo? Well, considering that we're not savvy tv journalists or hip soap opera insiders, just two maniacal fans wanting to know more about their favorite gals, we think -- probably not.

Add to that the fact that the ever elusive, internet-free Tamara Braun is probably still blissfully unaware of our existence, we think our chances of a response are slim and none.

But will that stop us from trying? Hell no! We're as plucky as any other animated characters out there in the world fighting for truth, justice and a little respect for the Best. Soap. Couple. Ever.


QUESTIONS FOR EDEN:

1) Eden, is filming a scene where a guy, who's supposed to be your brother-in-law, is all up in your junk delivering your baby in the wreckage of a tornado, as awkward as shooting a steamy sex scene with a guy you hardly know or barely like? Wait, have you ever filmed a steamy sex scene with a guy, – ever? Do you think the one steamy sex scene you got with Reese actually counts as steamy considering she was wearing a turtle neck?

2) Eden, now that you've given birth to two fictional children, what would you say is the toughest part about fictional motherhood?

3) Eden, Canadians do it better. Yay or nay?


QUESTIONS FOR TAMARA:

1) Tamara, did you attempt to meet any neurotic, sexually confused, angry, bi-sexual lesbians that you could interview in preparation for your role as Reese? Where do those women hang out? (We want to avoid them at all costs.)

2) Tamara, can you explain the physics behind falling at the perfect angle to hit a glass decantor with your face, thus causing said decanter to shatter and cause both literal and metaphorical blindness?

3) Tamara, in a fight between Sonny Corinthos and Zach Slater, who would pull out the measuring stick first? And by measuring stick we really mean a measuring stick.


QUESTIONS FOR EDEN & TAMARA:

1) Who is your favorite Disney Princess, and why?

2) If Bianca and Reese had had a Jewish wedding, could they have avoided all the subsequent heartache? After all, if Reese had downed a bottle of Manischewitz the night before, as apposed to a bottle of Scotch, the only thing she would have made out with is a bagel with schmeer.

3) We understand that the Emmy Award, which each of you are now the proud recipients of, stands 15.5 inches (39 cm) tall with a base diameter of 7.5 inches (19 cm) and weights 88 oz (5.5 pounds or 2.5 kg). Do you ever wonder what potential injuries might be inflicted if someone hurled an Emmy statue in the general direction of a pirate-shirted producer/head writer? We only ask because we wonder about it obsessively.

4) In your final appearance on AMC when you reconcile, was this simply a heartfelt reunion hug between Bianca and Reese, or was it in fact Tamara crying tears of joy and relief because Eden promised she'd finally take her away from the bad man?

5) Do you ever brag to your other actor friends about how your combined hotness has caused massive numbers of heterosexual women to turn in their "straight cards"?

6) Follow up -- Has AfterEllen ever contacted you in regards to naming an award in your honor?

7) As profoundly frakked up as the Bianca and Reese storyline became, did you remain thankful that the physical relationship between the characters was never limited to baking cookies and holding hands in church?

and our final question:

8) We know that you both have legions of devoted, loving, faithful fans - have any of them ever done anything that compares to the utter absurdity of PRATT FALLS?

###